


ground-up

by orphan_account



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, E-mail, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6545527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>http://www.sindria.freewebs.com</i>
</p><p>  <b>TITLE: JOB POSTING(S)</b></p><blockquote>
  <p>S(IN)DRIA is a new e-commerce content curation platform intended to empower commerce-savvy people by connecting them with relevant marketplace updates directly on their cellular devices. Our mission is to jumpstart the global business world into a fine-tuned, interconnected community of well-informed and able traders!</p>
  <p>We are currently looking for eight new recruits to join our start-up’s team. S(IN)DRIA is searching for motivated, devoted, and innovative people (or creatures, no discrimination here!) capable of thinking outside the box. If you think that’s you, please feel free to contact CEO Sinbad through his personal email address, listed in the CONTACT tab of our site.</p>
  <p>Thank you!</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	ground-up

**Author's Note:**

> the AU where sinbad tries to run a start-up.

_http://www.sindria.freewebs.com_

**TITLE: JOB POSTING(S)**

> S(IN)DRIA is a new e-commerce content curation platform intended to empower commerce-savvy people by connecting them with relevant marketplace updates directly on their cellular devices. Our mission is to jumpstart the global business world into a fine-tuned, interconnected community of well-informed and able traders!
> 
> We are currently looking for eight new recruits to join our start-up’s team. S(IN)DRIA is searching for motivated, devoted, and innovative people (or creatures, no discrimination here!) capable of thinking outside the box. If you think that’s you, please feel free to contact CEO Sinbad through his personal email address, listed in the CONTACT tab of our site.
> 
> Thank you!

 

///

Sinbad opens his email and finds one (1) new message.

 

 **FROM:** sinbadseyebrowssuck@kmail.com  
**TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** hey sinbad!

> Eat shit! xo Judal

 

Sinbad closes his email after deleting one (1) new message.

///

**(1) HINAHOHO**

**FROM:** bestdadhinahoho@imumail.com  
 **TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** Saw your job posting…

> Hello Sinbad!
> 
> I found you
> 
> _Sent from my iPhone_  
> 

 

 **SUBJECT:** Re:

> Sorry about that! My son is easily excited and kills
> 
> _Sent from my iPhone_  
> 

 

 **SUBJECT:** Laugh out loud!! Again!!

> Hahaha! Sorry again! My son is easily excited and kills me sometimes when he sends my emails prematurely! I was saying that I found your post and was interested! I have attached my resume. I am dying
> 
> _Sent from my iPhone_  
> 

 

 **SUBJECT:** Oops

> I am dying to get to know the company more! Hope to hear back soon!
> 
> _Sent from my iPhone_  
> 

 

 **SUBJECT:** sjdjgjfjoeo2l3;;c;;;;d;s;

> WWWWWwwdfjjjfjjs
> 
> _Sent from my iPhone_  
> 

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** bestdadhinahoho@imumail.com 

**SUBJECT:** Medium of contact?

> Hello, Hinahoho!
> 
> Thank you for getting in contact with me. Might I suggest discussing your resume in person next time? Feel free to bring your son.
> 
> Best,  
>  Sinbad

 

///

**(2) JA’FAR**

**FROM:** jafaraway@amail.net  
 **TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** With Regard To Your Job Postings

> Hello,
> 
> I happened upon your job posting and it is with great interest that I am contacting you. Attached is a cover letter, resume, and a few contact numbers for references and recommendations in PDF format. Please let me know if you need anything else from me. I hope to be in contact with you soon.
> 
> Yours Truly,  
>  Ja’far
> 
> P.S. Please do not contact any of the workplaces marked with an asterisk on my resume. The companies have all closed down and are unavailable for reference.

 

Sinbad, out of curiosity, looks up one of them: _MAKE A KILLING LLC._

> MAKE A KILLING LLC was a mercenary organization disguised as a toner production facility. They have been dissolved as of six years ago under charges of presumed gang activity and a series of inconclusive murders initially linked to them before the mysterious disappearance of the sole testifying witness…

 

Sinbad, cursing his curiosity, clears his search history. 

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** jafaraway@amail.net 

**SUBJECT:** Thanks!

> Thanks for the interest! Will be sure to keep your P.S. in mind! :-)

 

_(DRAFT)_

**SUBJECT:** Hypothetical situation

> I was wondering if you would notify me if you have a criminal record? Just hypothetically!
> 
> Best,  
>  Sinbad

 

///

**(3) MASRUR**

The shabby S(IN)DRIA office, consisting of one small cubicle that Sinbad has made into the CEO’s office, receives a parcel one day. It is poorly wrapped and poorly taped, and even the address is poor in quality, scrawled out in bright red sharpie that almost looks like. What? Blood?

Sinbad opens the parcel with ease.

There is a picture of a large, muscled, young man with bright red hair staring stoically, straight into the camera. He is pointing a hefty arm at the camera as well.

Sinbad feels a bit uncomfortable. 

Beneath the picture is a neatly printed table titled _BENCHING STATS._

“Hoo,” Sinbad says, in spite of himself. “Impressive.”

The picture slips from Sinbad’s fingertips and flutters to the ground. There is something written on the back in the same chicken scratch that wrote out the return address.

> I can dispose of your enemies and de-bone grilled fish. 
> 
> -Masrur

 

He has a slight migraine, but sets out to write a thank-you letter anyway.

///

**(4) SHARRKAN**

When Sinbad checks his email (with dread) the next morning, he finds one without a subject and only a YouTube link in the body, signed off with a ‘CHEERS!’

 

_(TRANSCRIPT)_

> The scene displays only a pool. The waters are a bright blue and there’s a dissonant hardcore rock music song playing in the background. A young man with silver hair and a lot more gold jewelry than is the norm floats out into the camera’s capture on an inflatable tube shaped like a snake. He is wearing bedazzled sunglasses and even Sinbad nods, appreciative.
> 
> “Hey, bro!” The young man tugs his sunglasses down along the slope of his nose and winks into the camera. Sinbad is beginning to find that he doesn’t really understand where this video is going. “Heard you were looking for some able-bodied men to fill up your team…” On cue, the young man flexes.
> 
> There are footsteps from outside of the camera’s range.
> 
> “ _What are you doing, Sharrkan _?” someone asks.__
> 
> __“Armakan! Get out!” Who Sinbad is now assuming is the one called Sharrkan hisses indiscreetly._ _
> 
> __Footsteps start up again, and then fade._ _
> 
> __Sharrkan clears his throat. “Anyway. Able-bodied young men. Young blood!” He splashes the water lightly. “Like _me._ I, Sharrkan, am the most proficient programmer under the age of thirty, probably in our entire generation and—”_ _
> 
> __“ _Sharrkan, your nerd friends are here for your World of Warcraft party._ ”_ _
> 
> __There is an admirable shade of red that blooms on Sharrkan’s face in seconds flat._ _
> 
> __“I swear to god, Armakan!”_ _
> 
> __The video cuts._ _  
> 

 

_(END TRANSCRIPT)_

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** YABOISHARRKAN@heliomsg.net 

**SUBJECT:** Well-received!

> Very creative approach, but please send a resume!
> 
> Best,  
>  Sinbad

 

 **FROM:** YABOISHARRKAN@heliomsg.net  
**TO:** sinbad@sindria.com 

**SUBJECT:** Re: Well-received!

> ok here u go
> 
> please hire me i cant live w my bro anymore he’s ruining my LIFE  
>  u heard how he disrespects me right? like wtf.. bro? no chill
> 
> anyway thx man 
> 
> urs,  
>  sharrk 
> 
> ps. ur hair natural, dude? it flows like the god damn ocean  
>  pps. no homo
> 
> \--  
>  _“WhAt DoEsN’t KiLl U mAkEs U sTrOnGeR” ~ bUdDhA ~ sHaRrKaN_  
> 

 

Sharrkan forgets to attach the actual resume and Sinbad isn’t sure if he has the heart to remind him.

///

**(5) DRAKON**

**FROM:** dragulnolhenriusgoviusmenudiaspartenuvonomiasdumidoskartanon@pmail.net  
 **TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** Job Posting

> Hello,
> 
> Attached are my resume AND CV (just in case), a cover letter, and a letter of recommendation. I am very sorry, again, for startling you when I dropped by in person. I’m not sure if you heard me, as you were standing quite a distance away (I apologize, again), but the dragon suit is NOT a necessity though I would prefer to keep it on if at all possible. Please do not ask questions. 
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> Best,  
>  Dragul Nol Henrius Govius Menudias Partenuvonomias Dumid Os Kartanon

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** dragulnolhenriusgoviusmenudiaspartenuvonomiasdumidoskartanon@pmail.net 

**SUBJECT:** Thanks!

> Not sure if I can pronounce a single part of your name. Mind if I call you Drakon?
> 
> Yours,  
>  Sinbad

 

 **FROM:** dragulnolhenriusgoviusmenudiaspartenuvonomiasdumidoskartanon@pmail.net  
**TO:** sinbad@sindria.com 

**SUBJECT:** Re: Thanks!

> Please don’t.

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** dragulnolhenriusgoviusmenudiaspartenuvonomiasdumidoskartanon@pmail.net 

**SUBJECT:** Re: Re: Thanks!

> Thanks, Drakon!

 

///

**(6) PISTI**

**FROM:** perfectpisti@artemail.net  
 **TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** it’s lit

> not really interested in the job my mom just wants me to intern but check out this cool vid i made!
> 
> _Link_  
> 

 

The video is a series of pictures of none other than himself—his LinkedIn headshot pasted onto the body of a green, anguished, frog in a blue shirt. There’s a familiar song in the background as the video zooms in and out of pictures of frog-him. At some point, frog-him does a 360 turn. 

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** perfectpisti@artemail.net 

**SUBJECT:** Re: it’s lit

> What made you choose that particular song? And why am I a frog?

 

 **FROM:** perfectpisti@artemail.net  
**TO:** sinbad@sindria.com 

**SUBJECT:** LOLLLL

> well i thought rick-rolling would be a good way to bridge our generation gap since it was sooooo early 2000s and based on your wrinkles im assuming u are late thirties? what better way to relate to u than with some dank memes
> 
> also frogs are in! i call my creation ‘the hubris of mister sinbad (ver. pepe)’

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** perfectpisti@artemail.net 

**SUBJECT:** Thanks!

> Not sure I understand, but thanks for the interest! Mind sending a resume?

 

 **FROM:** perfectpisti@artemail.net  
**TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** hello, it’s me

> the vid was my resume! im a graphic design major w a penchant for dramatic videos

 

 **SUBJECT:** LOL jk

> here’s my resume!!! as you can see, it is totally blank bc i don’t know a thing my guy! hire me only if you are STRONG ENOUGH!! to guide a young woman about to take her first baby step into the business world. not trying to intimidate you or anything tho

 

///

**(7) YAMURAIHA**

**FROM:** yamuraiha@magno.com  
 **TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** Follow-up

> Hi!
> 
> I submitted an application along with a handful of other documents some time ago and decided to follow-up. Please take your time in carefully reviewing the contents of my application; I just wanted to make sure that it was being processed!
> 
> I realized belatedly that I did not include some important things about my experience as a programmer.
> 
> 1\. I am the world’s youngest Android application developer.  
>  2\. I have singlehandedly made a multitude of men cry on World of Warcraft, which is, admittedly, not incredibly relevant to my experience as a programmer but still a bit relevant.  
>  3\. Please hire me. My father is trying to get me to develop exclusively iPhone apps and I’m not supportive of blatant discrimination between Apple and Android.
> 
> Thank you, Mister Sinbad!
> 
> Yours Truly,  
>  Yamuraiha

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** yamuraiha@magno.com 

**SUBJECT:** Re: Follow-up

> Hello Yamuraiha!
> 
> I received your application yesterday and have not yet been able to look through it yet as my printer is broken and I like looking at applications in physical copies. Feel free to follow-up in a week if I haven’t gotten back to you by then!
> 
> Best,  
>  Sinbad

 

 **FROM:** yamuraiha@magno.com  
**TO:** sinbad@sindria.com

 **SUBJECT:** With all due respect…

> With all due respect, Mister Sinbad, but are you a barbarian? Please do not waste paper and please also consider developing a program to go through your received applications manually and sort them… It’s time to move on from the stone age and into the future!

 

///

**(8) SPARTOS**

**FROM:** spartos@sasan.net  
 **TO:** sinbad@sindria.com  
 **CC:** mystras@sasan.net

 **SUBJECT:** (No Subject)

> Thank you.

 

_Attached: Resume.PDF_

_(TRANSCRIPT of RESUME.PDF)_

> SPARTOS OF SASAN  
>  CONTACT: ???????????
> 
> EDUCATION  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????
> 
> EXPERIENCE  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????
> 
> HONORS  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????  
>  ???????????????????????

 

 

 **FROM:** sinbad@sindria.com  
**TO:** spartos@sasan.net  
**CC:** mystras@sasan.net 

**SUBJECT:** A bit confused…

> I think there must have been an error in the resume file? All I see are question marks. Please send again! Thanks!

 

 **FROM:** mystras@sasan.net  
**TO:** sinbad@sindria.com 

**SUBJECT:** No Mistake

> PLEASE HIRE MY BABY BROTHER

 

///

_Feel free to submit comments or suggestions for S(IN)DRIA below!_

 

 **u call urself a ceo? lmao**  
4/14/2016 at 1:41:01 AM

> oops fuck typo i meant *guy i admire NOT my brother sorry

 

 **u call urself a ceo? lmao**  
4/14/2016 at 1:40:10 AM

> kind of EMBARRASSING that sinbad thinks he can be an innovative ceo when MY BROTHER the BEST CEO aka KOUEN REN is kicking his ass on the stock market!!! U AINT SHIT SINBAD

 

 **yunan**  
4/13/2016 at 12:13:26 PM

> Sinbad, please. Freewebs is what I used to host my Pokemon Roleplay six years ago (I’m sorry, again, that I did not let you join). Don’t embarrass yourself like this. I didn’t find you investors to watch you fall into internet depravity like this…

 

 **Kouen Ren**  
4/09/2016 at 3:28:44 PM

> I don’t like you. 

 

 **ren h.**  
4/09/2016 at 4:10:52 AM

> please help me destroy the kou conglomerate’s networking app it keeps suggesting i swipe right for alibaba

 

 **Alibaba S.**  
4/09/2016 at 1:36:28 AM

> Whoa!!!!!!!!! I want in!! What’s a start-up though? I’m totally down

 

 **JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDAL**  
4/04/2016 at 5:28:19 PM

> EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT SHIT SINBAD LMAO

///

**(9) GROUP CHAT**

**SINBAD:** Welcome to S(IN)DRIA’s team! This is where we’ll have most of our remote conversations. Feel free to use this chatroom as casually or as professionally as you please.  
 **PISTI:** everyone click this link it’s a video of mister sinbad as a frog  
 **SINBAD:** Pisti, please.  
 **HINAHOHO:** This is excellent! My son is dying  
 **SPARTOS:** ?  
 **HINAHOHO:** from laughter  
 **YAMURAIHA:** What a lovely video, Pisti! What program did you use to make it?  
 **PISTI:** adobe premier :-)  
 **YAMURAIHA:** When it comes to editing programs, I don’t have a huge preference. When it comes to actual programming language though, as long as no one here uses outdated languages like Java, I’m totally fine.  
 **SHARRKAN:** um?  
 **SHARRKAN:** u gonna say that 2 my face or WHAT?  
 **YAMURAIHA:** Say what? That I think Java is outdated and ancient because it is?  
 **SHARRKAN:** LISTEN PYTHON IS FOR WIMPS AND PPL WHO HAVE NEVER MET A REAL PYTHON OK?  
 **SINBAD:** Everyone?  
 **HINAHOHO:** Hope your python isn’t too dangerous! Hahaha  
 **PISTI:** it’s probs small  
 **PISTI:** haha get it bc  
 **SHARRKAN:** NO  
 **JA’FAR:** ………………  
 **SPARTOS:** ??  
 **DRAKON:** I am almost certain that this is not a good use of the chatroom.  
 **SINBAD:** A good observation, Drakon!  
 **DRAKON:** Please don’t call me that.  
 **SHARRKAN:** listen i know we’ve only been a team 4 like five hot seconds but I BELIEVE IN DEMOCRACY SO ALL WHO VOTE YAMUWHOHA off the island say aye  
 **MASRUR:** Would you like me to dispose of him, Mister Sinbad?  
 **SHARRKAN:** OK REWIND THERE’S LEGIT A DRAGON IN THE MEN’S BATHROOM? WTF THE FUCK?  
 **SINBAD:** What a lively team!

**(2) JA’FAR AND SINBAD**

**JA’FAR:** Can I ask you a question?  
 **SINBAD:** Sure, shoot.  
 **JA’FAR:** Um. What exactly made you decide to hire this specific group of people? What sort of credentials were you looking for? I’m not sure if I can find a trend here.  
 **SINBAD:** Oh  
 **SINBAD:** Don’t worry about it, Ja’far.  
 **JA’FAR:** -_-  
 **SINBAD:** Just trust your CEO. We will make S(IN)DRIA into the world’s greatest e-commerce platform and unite every corner of this planet together in the marketplace. Do you agree with this dream?  
 **JA’FAR:** I have no reason not to.  
 **SINBAD:** Then just trust me! I won’t lead you astray!  
 **JA’FAR:** ...  
 **JA’FAR:** I suppose that is fair.

///

_http://www.sindria.com_

**TITLE: THANK YOU FROM OUR TEAM**

> S(IN)DRIA started as a humble team of nine dedicated individuals striving to create the world’s greatest and most innovative e-commerce platform in the world. That was five years ago. Today, we have achieved our goal. Our team has more than multiplied in size and we have multiple satellite buildings on every continent in the world. 
> 
> From the original team at S(IN)DRIA, we thank you for your support.
> 
> _(Read more…)_
> 
> We could not have come this far without the cultivation of our deeply-rooted desire to see the world connected. 
> 
> Thank you, again.
> 
> \- TEAM S(IN)DRIA


End file.
